Start of November 2014 I was admitted to a psychiatric unit I was really unwell probably in the worst place I’d been in my life I was drinking half a litre straight vodka every day, I got in serious debt, I lost my job, my friends, my home, my place at uni and almost my life. in fact I’m very lucky to be here right now writing about this. So that’s how I ended up in hospital and ended up sadly on an article which annoyingly went up at midnight on Christmas/ boxing day.
And so I spent this Christmas on a psychiatric unit.. Just my luck ay. Although it may have been a blessing. I don’t particularly enjoy Christmas so refused to take part in any Christmas activities or have anything Christmas around me. Although I ended up pushing myself to try something and so made Christmas cookies, as baking is my absolute weakness. I also spent some time sat on the large sofa watching the nurses put up the Christmas tree, trying to keep peoples spirits up. Christmas is hard for me, as it reinforces my loneliness but I guess this year threw no choice and I was in company. To my amazement children’s services gave me presents that had come from my mum, which I opened with a nurse in case they were horrible and cried the whole time. I felt awful by the end, it was so bitter sweet, but at least she tried this time I guess.
So Christmas morning.. Pretty boring although awesome breakfast of bacon and sausage sandwich, and I’d finally been medicated enough to get past the fear that I was being poisoned. My friend even came to see me and brought me presents!!! And a nurse brought me a present too (she is such an awesome nurse no joke! Although actually loads were awesome).
It was so nice to see my friend but the day went downhill from there. before I knew it I was on prn lorazapam and out of it fast asleep (medications make me so drowsy!). I slept until mid afternoon and was rather pissed off when I awoke! I just felt so angry. Christmas really isn’t a good time for me, so yay more sedation (note the sarcasm). So I pretty much slept threw the whole of Christmas and boxing day, but I’m not sure I see that as a completely bad thing.
I spent new years Eve in the lounge with all the staff and some patients seeing in the new year with slur! It was one of those happy sad moments but was good, I even let a nurse hug me! (another awesome nurse!). I was pretty upset, as I had originally been granted overnight leave to spend the night with my friends, which got cancelled because I wasn’t great over Christmas. But, the staff and other patients did their best to see the night in.
So you know yep, it sucked that I had to spend the whole of the festivities in there and pretty much missed Christmas and it was definitely an experience. But, I went in at the worst time in my life and came out feeling the best I had in a long time and have been getting slowly better since and that was the greatest Christmas present I could have asked for from the most unlikely of people.
(originally written may 2015)